Every morning, a short, limping man pushes a wheelchair through the gate of the Unipax company (Amata Industrial Park, Bien Hoa, Dong Nai). On the wheelchair is his wife, whose legs are paralysed. After taking his wife in, he limps back out and climbs onto his three-wheeled motorbike to go to the nearby Asia Company. Many people at Unipax are familiar with this lovely image of the couple, Lam Van Tam and Tran Thi Trinh.
Same circumstances, easy to understand each other
Lam Van Tam (born 1983) suffered a severe fever when he was just three months old. After many rounds of high-dose injections, the muscles in his legs gradually wasted away. At two years old, Tam could still only lie like a two-month-old baby. Tam’s parents did not give up. Instead of teaching their son to take his first steps, they had to get him used to crutches, just to help him move while standing. Then Tam became proficient with wooden crutches, so he could go to kindergarten like his friends.
Tam remembers that before he started grade 1, he always saw the determined look in his father’s eyes. His father said: “If you try, you can walk without crutches. If you don’t try, how will you know whether you will fail or succeed?”. Tam’s weak legs wobbled with a wooden crutch to get to school. Day by day, Tam got used to putting all his weight on one crutch. But his father advised his son to give up that last crutch too.
Tam had to learn to move with slow, trembling steps. And so, every morning, he had to get up very early to go to school, because it took him many times longer to travel than his friends.
His family was poor, and Tam was the eldest of four siblings, so he had to stop studying in grade 10, although he was a good student. In 1999, Tam went to Thu Dau Mot Town (Binh Duong) to learn lacquerware, determined to turn himself from a burden into the breadwinner of his family.
Although his steps were weak, Tam was still luckier than his wife. Trinh was born in Tien Giang (in 1986) and had polio from childhood. Trinh said: “When I was small, I always felt inferior, and many times I thought I was a burden on my family. But the respectful and supportive way everyone in the family lived helped me partly overcome that feeling. I thought that being sad all the time would not change anything, so I tried to look at the little joys I had and live optimistically”. Perhaps that is why Trinh often smiles, a warm smile that easily wins others over.
In 2010, Tam worked as a factory worker at 27/7 Company Ltd (Binh Chanh District, Ho Chi Minh City) and secretly noticed a girl working at the same company. Tam said: “Actually, I was also self-conscious and did not dare to love or get to know anyone. But when I met Trinh, I saw her pretty, gentle face, and especially that even though she sat in a wheelchair to work, she always radiated joy, so I thought people in the same circumstances would understand each other more easily”.
Every evening, someone came to Trinh’s rented room to whisper sweet nothings. Although their love was already clear, Trinh was afraid of burdening Tam and hesitated to move forward. Finally, Tam’s sincerity and persistence won Trinh’s trust. Both families agreed to the wedding. Trinh confided: “Women with disabilities easily think they should not marry, because if they marry they will burden others. But Tam and I both have disabilities, so we understand each other easily. His strong, optimistic way of living also affected me and made me happier”.
“My husband is very capable”
It is hard to recount all the difficulties Tam and Trinh went through, especially in the early days of their marriage. The couple lived in rented accommodation, their wages were too low, and Tam also had to help his younger siblings go to school. Every day, besides working as a factory worker, Tam took the time to sell lottery tickets.
In 2012, they decided to move from Binh Chanh to Amata Industrial Park to improve their income. Tam said, choking up: “Looking back at that time, I felt so sorry for my wife. The two of us came down to Bien Hoa empty-handed. Friends took pity on us and lent us five million VND to find a rented room and buy household items. Seeing my wife’s tense, worried face in her wheelchair, I could not hold back my feelings”.
Thanks to their hard work, both found stable jobs and their income improved. In 2013, they had great joy: their healthy, beautiful daughter was born. Tam felt life was fairer to him: “My wife and I kept worrying that something would be wrong with our child. When my wife was pregnant, although it cost money, I still took her for regular check-ups, and each check-up was nerve-wracking. Seeing our child’s form, neither of us could hold back our tears. I feel I am a lucky person…”. He was so happy that he told everyone he met about his child, constantly talking about her.
When his wife had just given birth, Tam took on all the housework, cooking and washing clothes himself. Trinh praised her husband: “My husband is very capable. When I was still in confinement, I felt sorry for my husband working so hard, so I went down to the kitchen to help, but he absolutely refused. Before, I thought a wife with a disability would be mistreated by her husband, but the reality was the opposite. Some of my friends even said I was blessed to have such a caring husband”.
Recently, Trinh has relied on her mother to help look after their child so she can return to work. Although she is a person with a disability, Trinh is one of the workers highly rated for her ability. Mr Ta Hoang Tu (Human Resources Department – Unipax Company) said: “Ms Trinh is always exemplary at work. In particular, although life is still hard, she is always cheerful and sociable. In social activities related to people with disabilities, she takes part very enthusiastically and has passed on her optimistic, confident spirit to other people with disabilities. Here, people with disabilities only work seven hours a day (other people work eight hours a day), do not have to change shifts and are given light work”.
Mr Tam also works only seven hours a day, and finishes his shift at 3 p.m. to wait for his wife. At 3.30 p.m., seeing his wife’s figure appear in the workshop, although his legs are weak, he still runs in to push her wheelchair for her. They chat and laugh on the three-wheeled motorbike as it rolls slowly along…
Tran Trieu – http://phunuonline.com.vn