Her two siblings-in-law have severe disabilities caused by Agent Orange.
Doan Van Khau, 37, crawls out of the house, smiling incoherently when he sees visitors. His younger sister, Doan Thi Me, sits on a bed placed on the veranda and relieves herself where she sits. Me pays no attention to her surroundings, her arms and legs flailing wildly and smearing dirt all over herself.
Working as a hired labourer and selling lottery tickets to raise her siblings-in-law
Ms Do Thi Loan (Tam Lanh Hamlet, Hiep Thanh Commune, Go Dau District, Tay Ninh) – the sister-in-law of Khau and Me – hurriedly cleans up, helps her two siblings-in-law inside, then tearfully recounts her family’s circumstances. Her two siblings-in-law are victims of Agent Orange: Khau has deformed arms and legs and cannot speak; Me has an intellectual disability, is deaf and non-speaking, and is paralysed.
For more than 20 years, Ms Loan has diligently shouldered all the work in her husband’s family. She shared: “Both my family and my husband’s family are poor. My husband and I did not even own a piece of land to put a stake in; we only had hired labour as our trade”.
Ms Do Thi Loan and her two siblings-in-law with severe disabilities. Photo: HONG MINH
The couple worked as hired labourers to support their elderly mother-in-law, two siblings-in-law with severe disabilities and three children. Poverty clung to them constantly, and Ms Loan cannot even remember when they were first classified as poor under the central government’s standards.
In 2009, her mother-in-law died. A year later, her husband fell seriously ill. She ran everywhere seeking treatment for her husband, but in vain. In his dying moments, he stopped her: “I consider myself unfortunate; don’t try any more, or you might have to sell the house. I surely cannot close my eyes in peace leaving you with two siblings with disabilities”. Telling this, Ms Loan burst into tears: “I promised him I would care for his two siblings for life in place of his parents, and only then did he close his eyes in peace”.
She works tirelessly to raise her children and siblings-in-law and pay off debts. In the dry season, she weeds, cuts sugar cane and strings tobacco leaves. In the rainy season, she sells lottery tickets. But she does not dare go far, because she still has to look after her two siblings.
Every daily activity, including personal hygiene for both siblings, needs her help. Some days, coming home from selling lottery tickets, she found Me crawling around the yard, covered in faeces but still smiling innocently, and she stood there crying in pain.
Given away, then carried back home
When Ms Loan’s mother-in-law was still alive, she took pity on the family’s hardship and misfortune and wanted to send her two sick children to Ky Quang Pagoda in Ho Chi Minh City to ease Ms Loan’s burden.
Me was sent to the pagoda for two days before Ms Loan went to visit. Me kept holding her sister-in-law’s hand and smiling innocently, and Ms Loan could not leave her, so she asked the pagoda to let her carry Me back home.
Pressure weighed heavily on her shoulders. The house was always short of everything; going far to work meant no one was watching her siblings. Some days, with no work, she had to pick amaranth to sell, and whatever was left, the whole family ate vegetables in place of a meal.
Many times, Ms Loan went home to visit her own parents and cried to ease her heart. Her parents said with pity: “If it is too hard, come back here to live with us”, but she could not bear to leave her two siblings, so after crying she returned to her husband’s home.
Ms Loan’s husband’s family also has two other siblings-in-law who have married but are poor and cannot help Ms Loan much.
In recent years, Khau and Me have received allowances for people with disabilities, an extra 1.2 million VND a month. With the money in hand, the first thing Ms Loan does is buy a bag of rice to save. “My two siblings are young and eat heartily, so what I worry about most is running out of rice”.
Ms Phan Thi Bich Ha, Chairwoman of the Women’s Union of Hiep Thanh Commune, said: “Ms Loan is very honest and sincere; her sisters, neighbours and everyone love and respect her”.
Mr Tran Van Hanh, a neighbour, came to help pour the concrete floor of her cattle shed without charging for his labour. Mr Hanh said: “I have never seen anyone like Ms Loan – a sister-in-law caring for her two siblings-in-law like that; there is surely no second person like her”.
HONG MINH – http://phapluattp.vn