“I used to see my child as a bag full of big holes and desperately patched them, until one day I realised that, no, my child is a net bag, very lovely, very beautiful!” – Nguyen Lan Phuong tells the story of Nem, her son.
One corner of the 'Nem's Story' exhibition
“Nem’s Story” is the name of a special painting exhibition – as painter Le Thiet Cuong said at the opening of the exhibition – the most special of the more than 200 exhibitions he has taken part in introducing. Because the person who drew the paintings now solemnly hung on the walls for hundreds of people to see is a 9-year-old boy with autism: Nem, whose real name is Ha Dinh Chi, a third-grade pupil. People did not see the boy appear much at the first exhibition of his life, but that does not matter. He has communicated with everyone, spoken and laughed, dreamed, and touched people’s eyes and hearts, not with ordinary language like everyone else, but with strokes, images, colours and paintings.
Nem’s story, told through paintings, is full of colour, with sunshine, clouds, rivers, red fields… Paintings that are “joyful and optimistic”, as painter Thiet Cuong observed. But Nem’s story in real life – from the time Nem was born and especially the 7 years Nem’s parents struggled with their son’s autism – has at times been drowned in dark shades.
“Life often feels like hell, looking up to see the sky and looking down to see my child. I was disappointed and even had negative thoughts come very quickly: if my child disappeared, I would be freed.” That is the heart of Nem’s mother, when her son was labelled with autism, when simple things like eating, going to the toilet and brushing teeth… became battles, and when the parents’ ordinary needs, such as hearing their child speak and talking with him, became luxuries… Life for families with a child with autism is “always tiring, never not tiring, even right now” – Nem’s father honestly confided when a journalist asked at the exhibition.
Nem’s drawings – Photo from Nem Gallery.
“I saw my child as a bag full of holes and tried hard to patch those holes” – Lan Phuong said. The mother once focused on patching the big holes so that her child could be normal like other children, sit still, stand in line, do homework… Her child made progress, but everything was still not right; his development was uneven, his communication did not improve, and he was still not at all comfortable and happy.
For 7 years like this, the mother patched one hole after another, and now that her child is 9, the holes are still holes, and however hard she tries to patch them, it never works. “By now, I have realised that: no, this is not a bag with holes, but a very beautiful and lovely net bag. My child senses the world around him as very messy and unsafe, but he sees the world with many funny images, many colours, creativity and spontaneity”
Nem has no need to play or share with friends, but the boy can sit for hours with his strokes and a blank sheet of paper, absorbed in the countless images in his head. The world we see, the world we sense, Nem has seen as a slow-motion film, capturing life in wordless paintings. Just as people speak to express joy and sadness, Nem draws to convey feelings. Just as people speak to share and empathise, Nem draws to find connection. And just as people speak to drive away loneliness, sometimes Nem draws to touch the outside world.
And Nem’s parents have diligently done everything so that the boy can shine as himself – a beautiful net bag, not a bag full of holes with patches that never worked, and above all, so that a boy with autism like Nem can speak to the world in his own way, in a “joyful and optimistic” way!
Source: Xaluan.com